Health Psychology

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

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I’m a professional troublemaker my job is to critique the world the shotty systems and the people who refuse to do better as a rider as a speaker as a shady Nigerian I feel like my purpose is to be this cat the person who’s looking at other people like I need you to fix it that is me I want us to leave this world better than we found it and how I choose to affect change is by speaking up by being a first and by being the diamond. For a lot of dominoes to fall one has to fall first but then leaves the other choice was to do the same I’m at Domino’s at Falls we’re hoping that okay the next person that sees this is Inspire to be a domino being the dominant for me looks like speaking up and doing the things that are really difficult especially when they’re needed with the hope that others will follow suit here’s the thing I’m the person who says what you might be thinking but they’re not to say a lot of times people think that we’re Fearless the people who do this are not feel it we’re not afraid of the consequences for the sacrifice that we have to make by speaking truth to power what happens as we feel like we have to because they’re too few people in the world willing to be the Domino to Sushi for willing to take that far we’re not doing it without fear.

Let’s talk about see it I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up I was like I’m going to be a doctor. Love you was a dream I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing and I remember when I went to college my freshman year I have to take chemistry 101 for my pre-med major I got the first and last day of my academic career that was my advisor and I was like okay let’s drop the pre-med because his doctor think is not going to work cuz I don’t even like hospitals considered done for and that same semester I started blogging that was 2003 so is that one room was and another was beginning and then where was a cute hobby became a full-time job when I lost my marketing job in 2010 took me two more years to say I’m a writer 9 years I thought I started writing before I said I’m a writer because I was afraid of what happens without 401K without how much I’ll keep up my shoe habit that’s important to me so it took me that long to own this thing that was what my purpose was and then I realized still has a very concrete power of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are purpose and I was like you know what I’m not going to let fear rule my life

I’m not going to let fear dictate what I do and then all these awesome things started happening and Domino’s starts at so when I realized that I was like okay 2015 I turned 30 it’s going to be my year of do it anyway anything that scares me I’m going to actively pursue it so I’m a Capricorn I like my feet solidly on the ground I decide to take my first ever solo vacation and it was out of the country to the Dominican Republic so my birthday what did I do I went zip-lining through the 4th of Punta Cana business casual don’t ask why and I had an incredible time also I don’t like being submerged in water I like to be again on Solid ground so I went to Mexico and swim with dolphins underwater and the cool thing that did also that year that was my Mountain was I wrote my book I’m judging you to do better manual and I had to own that whole writing thing that right yes but the very anti me things that I do that you’re that scared the crap out of me I went skydiving we’re about to find out the plane and when we come falling down to earth and I literally lose my breath as I see Earth and I was like I just had a perfectly good plan on purpose what is wrong with me but then I looked down at the beauty and I was like this was the best thing I could have done this is amazing decision and I think the speech truth it feels like I’m falling out that plane it feels like that moment when I’m at the edge of the plain

I’m like you shouldn’t do this but then I do it anyway because I realize I have to sing a Tesla. Playing in front of State on that plane is Comfort to me and I feel like every day that I’m speaking truth against institutions and people who are bigger than me and and just forces that are more powerful than me I feel like I’m falling out that plane but I realize Comfort is overrated because be quiet as comfortable keeping things the way they’ve been is comfortable and all comfort of the status quo so we’ve got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable by speaking these hard truths when they’re necessary and for me though I realize that I have to speak these shoes because honesty is so important to me my Integrity something I hold dear Justice I don’t think Justice should be an option we should always have Justice also I believe in shea butter as a core value and pasteurized but besides that with these at my core values I have to speak the truth I have no other choice in the matter but then people like me the professional Troublemaker should not be the only ones who have committed to being this is Dominos who always falling out the plane will be the first one to take this hit people are so afraid of is a cute consequences not realizing that there many times when we walking rooms and we are some of the most powerful people in those rooms we might be the second most powerful third most powerful and I strongly believe that our job in those times is to disrupt what is happening and I guess we’re not the most powerful if two more of us band together it makes a powerful it’s like co-signing the woman in the meeting you know

The woman who who can’t seem to get her word out or just making sure that other person who can’t make a point is being hurt our job is to make sure they have room for that everyone’s walking his community business if we made that a point we understand that for the times when we need help we would have to look around so hard if we make sure we were somebody else help and there are times when I feel like I have taken very public tumbles and Falls like a time when I was asked to speak at a conference and they wanted me to pay my way there and I did some research and found out the white man who spoke there. Compensated and got their travel pay for the white women who spoke there. Their travel pay for the black women who spoke there were expected to ask to pay to speak there and I was like what do I do and I knew that if I spoke up about this publicly I could face National loss but then I also understood that my silence serves no one sci-fi fearfully spoke up about it publicly and other women that are coming out to talk about I to his face and type of paint and equality and it start a conversation about discriminatory paid actresses that this conference was participating in I felt like I was the Domino the time I rather disturbing Memoir by public figure and wrote a piece about it and I knew this person is more powerful than me and could impact my career but I was like I got to do this I got to sit at the edge of this plane maybe for two hours and I did not press publishing I ran away and I came back to a viral post and people being like Oh my God I’m so glad somebody finally said this and it start a conversation about mental health and self-care and I was like okay alright the things I’m doing I guess all right doing something and then so many people have been to Domino when he talked about how they’ve been assaulted by powerful men and it’s made millions of women join in and say me too so shout out to Toronto Burke for a night in that movement people and systems count on our silence to keep us exactly where we are now being the dominant

Sometimes it comes down to being exactly who you are so I’ve been a shady somebody saw three this is my third birthday but I’ve been this girl on my life and I feel like even Baskin to Domino because in a world that wants us to walk around as representatives of ourselves being yourself can be a revolutionary act and in a world that wants us to whisper I choose to yell when it’s time to say these hard things I ask myself three things what did you mean it to can you defend it did you say it with love if the answer is yes to all three I say it and let the chips fall that’s important that checkpoint with myself always to do this tell him the truth teller Thoughts with truth should not be revolutionary Act speaking truth to power should not be sacrificial but they are I think it’s more of us chose to do this for the greater good we being better spaces than we are right now the greater good I think we commit ourselves to tell and truths to build Bridges to Common Ground and bridges that aren’t based on truth book collapse so it is our job it is Our obligation by duty to speak truth to power to be the Domino not just when it’s difficult especially when it’s difficult thank you

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